If you're caring for a loved one with memory loss respite care is vital to your well being. Tune in to hear why it's important and how to make it happen.

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As we age we know it's likely that we'll need some sort of external care. Most seniors I speak to are adamant that they don't want to become a burden to their children. That's admirable but it's not always an option. Finding ways to make that desire a reality isn't always easy either.

I know my Dad looked into and then rejected Long Term Care Insurance because it was too expensive.  Fortunately for my sister and me, Mom most likely has enough money to live the rest of her life in the community she's at now.  That's important because moving her again would be a nightmare I have no desire to repeat. Maintaining our Mom where she's cared for and comfortable is our number 1 goal.

Reaching out to insurance agents about insurance options usually leads us down a sales path. That's why I am happy to bring this episode to you. As a result of having a conversation with a broker, you'll have more knowledge when you talk to your own people.  Most noteworthy, there are more options than in earlier years so give this a listen.  There's no sales pitch you have to sit through! This is a great way to answer many of your questions about long term care insurance.

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Being a successful caregiver is a challenge that many of us think we're failing at becoming. When caring for someone with memory loss we're faced with ever increasing challenges. As our loved one declines we have to take on more responsibilities that very few of us are ready for. Fewer have had no training on how to be a good caregiver.

Becoming successful at caregiving isn't impossible. Following the advice of the many people who have been on this journey is the first step. On this episode of the podcast I talk to Rick Lauber. Rick cared for both of his parents and one of his stress relievers was writing. Thankfully his stress relieving led him to write two books on how to be a successful caregiver.
An Excerpt From his book:
You may be among the tens of millions of Americans who provide care for a parent — or you may be among the ten of millions who will.

When physical and mental health declines in aging parents many children are caught unprepared. Life cannot readily prepare you to provide excellent eldercare while balancing the demands on your time. Consequently, this book provides practical tips, realistic guidance, encouragement and insight into the time ahead.

Among other things, it answers:
• Deciding when your parent stays at home or moves to
assisted living?
• What should you expect when caring for your elderly parents?
• Who should you ask for help?
• How do you balance caregiving responsibilities with your personal life?

The Successful Caregiver’s Guide includes extensive explanations of your options and checklists for differing types of eldercare to help you choose the best care possible for your loved one.

Because Rick faced this challenge head on we're blessed with his guides and his wit. Enjoying this episode is a side benefit to the excellent advice you'll receive.  Following his advice is easy because he's been through this and lived to tell the tale, literally.

Guide to Becoming a Successful Caregiver

Episode on Caregiver Struggles

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The Story of the I'm Up App
 

Independence, security, and peace of mind have never been easier to achieve for someone living alone. Using the simple check in-app on your phone, your loved ones are notified that you're up and you're doing just fine.

This episode of Fading Memories tells the story behind the creation of the app.
In 2012, David’s wife, Paula moved out of their home to a memory care facility. His children lived in different parts of the country and he had never felt more alone in his life.
After a long nine-year battle with Alzheimer’s, Paula passed in 2016. This was when the seed for the idea behind I’m Up was planted.

Having worked in the life insurance business for most of his lifetime, David was aware of the various pitfalls of aging. But Paula’s passing was what truly got him thinking about the various aspects of living alone as you age.

His Border Collies were his closest companions and couldn’t help but wonder who would care for them should he not wake up one day. Worse still, what if it was days or weeks before his kids found out?

There had to be a simpler way. Tune in to hear the full story. The conversation was great when the internet connection worked right!

See I'm Up in action!

More Options Tech for Seniors

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An online support group may just be the right option for people who are caring for a loved one in their home. You get the benefit of the support without the worry of what to do with your loved one while you attend a meeting. Online support groups was the focus of this podcast episode.

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Brain stuff isn't really the main focus of my podcast. However, sometimes with the right guest, it's hard to avoid some of the more scientific parts of Alzheimer's.  Before we even started talking about Canine Caregivers the host of Dogs In The News podcast, Ben Brooks wanted 2 minutes to “nerd out” about what I call, “brain stuff”. Ben teaches biochemistry and he frequently asks his students how Alzheimer's affects his students.

Discussing Alzheimer's with Ben in depth might be an upcoming episode so stay tuned for that!

Dogs in The News Podcast

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I've had dogs all my life. However, I was not aware of canine caregivers until Ben & Michele of “Dogs in the News” podcast approached me. The idea was to create a shared episode to educate people about these dogs. After my conversation with Ben & Michele, I now want to get and train a dog to be a memory impaired communities caregiver!

How can a dog help someone with memory loss? That was my question as well. Surprisingly, there are lots of things a dog can do to help someone living with memory loss. Dogs are especially useful one on one with someone in the earlier stages of the disease.

One of the main things a dog can do is get their owner home.  They can also be trained to stay with their person if they refuse to leave, and bark to get attention for help. They can wear a GPS outfitted collar for easy tracking and can even prevent someone from leaving the home without them.

You'll hear in our conversation that canine caregivers can also be a benefit in a memory residence.  These highly trained dogs can help break repetitive behaviors which is common in the later stages of the disease. Dogs can give the residents a purpose, caring for their furry caregiver.  There are lots of ways dogs can be a huge help for people living with Alzheimer's or dementia.

After you listen to our podcast, be sure to check out Dogs in the News. I have also released a bonus episode where Ben starts talking about “brain stuff”. You'll enjoy that bit of behind-the-scenes banter.

Another Fading Memories episode about Dogs

The New Breed of Service Dog: Canine Caregivers for People Living with Alzheimer's or dementia.

How to Make Your Dog A Service Dog

The 15 Best Breeds for Therapy Dogs

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Caregiver confessions is something we all have but don't usually want to discuss.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be a caregiver who never gets frustrated and is an eternal optimist?  If that describes you, I applaud your emotional strength and resilience. However, many of us providing care for a cognitively impaired loved one, do not fall into that category; I know I don’t.

Similarly, most caregivers struggle with negative emotions, frustrations, and the uncertainty that comes from caring for someone with memory loss.  Helping people navigate this treacherous journey was the reason I started my podcast.

For instance, wanting to help ease the burden of having negative emotions sent me on a quest to find the right person to talk with.  Subsequently, I found Kate, the host of the podcast, Ignorance Was Bliss. For example, she started her podcast because she had things she wanted to say and the conversations she wanted to have. Kate is also a trained psychologist and a person living with serious health issues. Naturally, she was an ideal person to talk to.
Difficult Caregiver Thoughts (AKA Caregiver Confessions)

I'm sick of having no life of my own.
Dad tries to control everything I do—it’s exhausting.
How much longer can I continue caregiving? It seems like there is no end in sight.
My loved one has no clue what I give up to care for them. They think this is a normal routine.
Everybody constantly wants a piece of me, and there’s nothing left for myself.
Nothing I do ever pleases them.
Mom is suffering so much and has no quality of life. Why can’t she just let go and die?

As a result of some of my negative feelings about Mom, I wanted to find ways to see the positive in our interactions. Searching for ways to turn that negative narrative in my head around has been something I’ve worked on for many months.  Consequently, my conversation with Kate gave me some terrific insight that I'm sure will help you.

Meanwhile, check out the other part of our conversation on Ignorance Was Bliss.  As a result of our 2 plus hour conversation both of us got exactly what we wanted for our individual podcasts. Kate talked to me about my journey with Mom and moreover, I got an insight into dealing with my negative thoughts.

To sum it all up, talking through some of our negative thoughts and feelings can be a huge help.  Certainly, it can't hurt even if we don't come up with any answers. In addition, you might feel better just for having a conversation.

Related Episode

Giving A Caregiver Help

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Starting this podcast was all about sharing my knowledge with other caregivers. That was the plan with Francey, to have a conversation where we shared resources. As many of my recorded conversations go, we ended up talking about our shared journey.

That's okay because I feel that hearing other caregiver stories, them sharing their knowledge is helpful to all of us. Knowing we're not alone, that we have similar struggles can be truly beneficial. I like to think of episodes like this one as a way to get support without having to leave your home. We all know what a struggle that can be.

Francey bounced all over the country for 25 years chasing her career in airport operations and management, She moved to Sarasota, Florida in 2015 to take care of her mother. Not long after this big change, she started her blog as a way of sharing her knowledge with others.

Becoming a full-time caregiver came with a steep learning curve. Having never been married or raising any kids, Francey never had to care for anyone but herself!  Her blog is about her challenges and also the joys and rewards. It’s a way for her to keep her Mom forever alive in cyberspace. It's a place to vent, and, hopefully, to lend support, experience, and knowledge to others who are or will soon be a memory loss caregiver.

 

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Understanding what living with dementia is like is beneficial for all of us.  In this part 2 episode with Janice Swink, we continue our conversation about her life and struggles.  Janice is living with frontal temporal dementia. At the time of our conversation, it was thought that she may also have Lewy Body syndrome. Her recent MRI has proven that not to be the case.

Having only one dementia is still a challenge, however. Janice has scent and visual hallucinations along with good days and bad. Posting on her Facebook and Twitter Janice helps us understand what good days and bad look like.

Using her situation to teach people what it's like to live with dementia is Janice's purpose now. Using herself as a teaching tool allows her to help fight the stigma attached to a brain disease we cannot see. Janice has dealt with a lot of subtle bullying but is determined to do her part to change the world.

Recently Janice posted “LIVING WITH DEMENTIA: Have had trouble the last two mornings trying to figure out how to put my coat on and neck scarf. Hopefully, this is not a new normal for me. Hugs to all!” This is inspiring because too many people with Alzheimer's or dementia go into denial. They don't talk about what's going on with them, depriving friends and family a much-needed understanding.

To sum up our conversation I would say that Janice is doing a great job helping the world understand living with dementia. Listening to this episode will greatly improve your understanding of the dying mind and help reduce frustrations.

Living With Dementia Part 1.

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